Sunday, January 25, 2015


Sometime the Lord wants you to learn something.
I think the lesson I need to learn right now is that I have no control.

I am a self titled control freak. I hate spontaneity. I hate chaos. I hate not having a plan. Seriously ask my BFF about the Christmas meltdown of 2010!

Right now my  life is all of that.

We are supposed to be moving to Japan in 2 weeks. We don't even have "real" orders yet. So far it looks like we aren't going. Ed is having some medical complications (nothing serious, or unfixable) So it looks like we may be staying here in NJ for longer than we had planned.

I thought we had it all under control, we got all the paperwork in, got the dog all her shots and a new microchip, a flight kennel, got the kids records all set. Started asking around for people who wanted to buy our cars and rent our house. We had it all lined up and now it looks like it is all falling apart. I am a huge believer is everything happens for a reason. I have to admit. I am a little upset. It would be really exciting to live in a part of the world that I probably wouldn't go to if I wan't moving there. But at the same time. We have been here 8 years. We have friends, we have "family". Our kids have amazing schools. So I am ok staying for now. I just wish I knew for sure what was happening so I could plan.

For now I am living in limbo. I feel a constant sense of anxiety yet at the same time I know that it will all be ok. And if it's not ok, it will work out anyway. The Lord has a plan for me and my family and I'll go with it. I just hope I know that plan sooner than later so I can be calm again!

1 comment:

Laura said...

I totally know that constant anxiety feeling. Ick! So sorry this is life for you right now!